cant do anything now

cant sleep, cant eat, cant even relax...
cant even dream or have nightmares...
cant listen, think, decide or even execute...

never before this happen to me...
i feel betrayed but i cant blame anyone...
im confused because of me hesitating...
its my own fault, really

my attributes didn't serve me well...
too trusting, open-hearted, and dream of things that isn't just possible...
what kind of person i am?
people always say i've been a good friend...
maybe thats all i'm good for...

cried in my sleep...
can't remember why as i didn't dream bout anything last night...
woke up with wet eyelids and a red nose...
oh my god... whats wrong with me..
why does it hurts soo much...
no one can soothe it or make me feel better...

i know you didnt mean to let slip but thanks anyway.. you've been a good friend to everyone... you made me realise my mistake and my foolishness into believing it would ever be possible... it was a wasted effort yesterday.. all my written heart felt word in the end seems like scribbling or vandalism... but thanks anyway... you've done everything right and i'm proud of you...