The curse of stepfathers

Many people are like me... they have stepfathers in their lifes... some are good to them, some a typically bastards and there are those who don't give a shit about you... the one i have is a mixture of all of these features.. he expects so much out of me.. when i fullfill it, there's no hint of pride from him or even affection... i can say that throughout my whole life, i have been devoid of fatherly affection... Sometimes i think that because of this, i am who i am today.. not loved, not wanted... damn, i always think that i would have been a different person if my birth parents nvr split up... i would have had a better life, with affection that is needed by a child during their childhood.. "sigh"

why why why am i given this life? the only time he's nice is when his friends or family is in attendance for example during hari raya... nasty crappy shitty!! damn! he owes me cash and he doesn't want to repay me... always bitching about money problems.. he wouldn't have money problems if he doesn't do his hair-brained schemes of his.. he put it upon himself.. i rarely ask money from him.. and when i do, he'll start bitching bout me wasting HIS money on unnecassry things.. well well well, he says i waste his money?? he took on the responsibility of me when he married my mother.... then now he's complaining... his firstborn child, my sister, waste more money than me and he nvr ever complains. S.O.B!! sigh... thats life for me.... i've been given this destiny and fated to live through it till the ends of time... this blog portrays the dark side of me, so i'm sorry if its seems that i'm being a sarcastic bastard but what i'm saying is the bloody truth... always getting on my case... im sooo FRUSTRATED!!!!!