well well well.. yesterday i had the most interesting day.... applied for a job at golden village.. would you believe it? i'm getting desperate... well, wats done is done... then met up with some of the guys.. we talked and joked around like idiots... hahas we watched soccer together!! damn.. singapore was like a loser team.. soo many chances and never take the oppurtunity to score... dumbasses... all of them..
at night was the real shocker!! damn.. i reveiled my true feelings to her!!! gods, what the hell was i thinking?? must be the meds that i was taking or something.. dammit!! sigh i must be crazy!! i don't want to lose her!!! it hurts so much just thinking of the consequences.. what if she can't accept me? what if she's disgusted by this? what if the love i want to give isn't enough reason? so many questions going through my mind.. i can't resolve my mind this time... i had nightmares... thinking of what the final conclusion might be.. scared the wits out of me.. woke up drenched in my perspiration... heart rate went up.. AND by god, the itch was killing me!! she asked for more time and i'm willing to wait as long as it takes.. i just had to tell her.. i can't keep secrets from her... her sweet face always makes me give in.. can't resist it at all... i just want to make her happy.. never miserable, never sad, never angry and most definitely never feel neglected... well, this is the weirdest declaration of love ever heard of and suprisingly written by me... sigh.. so drowsy, so tired, my mind thinks of nothing else...
help me... give me a chance, that's all i ask for.. one chance is all i need.. without conflict like the ones in my dreams, a world like i've seen in my dreams, all my loving, without it, i can't go on. the days we can't or never meet, we always have continued on.. used to be without you knowing but now you do.. there's nothing else i can do but wait and wait and wait till you are ready.
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