sooo tired =(

work was like hell!! jus reached home...
today, everything went back to usual operations which means that the kitchen is opened to serve food... lunch time was giler!! the place was packed like siao... order after order after order... my whole body smell like coffee... been making coffee non-stop!! iced coffee, latte, cuppacino and all that other drinks... omg! then the bloody coffee making machine died on me! i was like panicking oredi... still got soo many orders!! then, my colleague told me that he off the main power... i was like WHAT THE HELL!! scare me for what! after that particular episode, everything went smoothly... soo many people ordered steak or a filet... the sweet smelling meat!! sooo tempting... only ate oreos since no time for a break... people keep on coming in.... then the worst happened! RAN OUT OF MILK!!! had to rush to 7-eleven... looked kinda stupid walking with a plastic bag full of cartons of milk... everyone was looking... soo embarressed... hahahaas then boss treat us dinner!! thank you BOSS!! the best boss ever! haahahaaass... today was my last day at BLEND INN.. they asked me if i want to stay on as a part time, but i said i'll think about it... 5 straight days i've been soloing at the cafe!! nid a rest!! open and close the cafe... cleaning the place, making coffee and serve people.. soo goddamn tiring... nid a rest!!
tmr! slack at home!! nid to catch up on my sleep!! been goin home 2-4 am.... not enough sleep!! every night go home with mandarin oranges... my fridge is full with the round things... hahaahahaas... We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are, and what happens just happens and thats the truth!!!

it has been over more than a week and i cant get over it! i wonder whats wrong with me... this the 1st time it happened to me and its freaking me out... during work or anytime or anywhere i would always thing about it... the beautiful things that i would have given is still on my dresser waiting to be given.. my heart is in the middle of nowhere.. my mind is a complete blank... my eyes shows me black and white.. my ears only registers a low buzzing sound... every fibre of my being yearns to be held.. theres only one way but it aint ever going to be... sufferring will be the driving force in my life...